Monday the 20th I awoke feeling pretty terrible, didn't sleep well at all. Tossed, turned, hot, cold, neck cramps, and back ache. Were all these rock solid beds catching up to my body? I couldn't figure out why such the terrible nights sleep but I awoke, went to the train station to check out tickets for Ayutthaya and ended up purchasing a ticket that departed in 40 minutes! I had to run back to the hostel, pack my bags jimmy rigged and quick like and headed back to the station. They told me to wait at platform two, and I guess there is only 2 platforms so I was supposed to know which was which, while everything is labeled in Thai. I was waiting and waiting, no trains. I showed another guy my ticket and I had to hop the tracks in order to be on platform 2. At this point I was really hoping for some Harry Potter to come to life and tell me to head to platform 2 and 3/4. The train came, and boy was this a train.....an old, dirty, rickety, train. The loudest thing I have ever ridden in, clink, clank, bump, as you worked hard to stay in your seat. Remember the windows on school buses? Where you push in on each side and the window drops or raises, that's what these windows were like, and you could drop them all the way down and well just hope out if you fancied. When I asked for the toilet, the guy laughed and pointed. I just sank in my seat, oh boy....why is he laughing. I mean toilets can be pretty bad here so how much worse can it get? Well I eventually had no choice but to find out. What I found was a dirty, silvery hole in the ground, I wouldn't even consider it a squat toilet. I would call this "Dancing target practice" because you have to figure out the rhythm of the train and its sways and bumps while focusing on a hole in the ground in the squat position, without letting your pants near the ground, touching the walls, and maintaining your purse in your lap as well. And then you have to wipe (thank goodness they did have TP here). It was probably the most impressive squat Ive popped. Ever. And I had to do it twice on this 6 hour train ride. During the entire ride I had a migraine like I have never experienced before, I was sweating profusely while having goosebumps and chills and my entire body ached. I was not exactly sure what was going on but it did not make the train ride from hell any better. On top of the fact that hardly any English was spoken so I just prayed they would announce Ayutthaya. They announced every stopped, in Thai, and I never understood where we were. Nearing the time we were supposed to arrive in Ayutthaya I checked the maps on my phone, it appeared we had passed my stop, I failed to see the direction my little blue dot was heading of course. I asked if we had passed Ayutthaya the guy says "Ayutthaya, YES!" I am like, um no...? He says again "Ayutthaya, yes!" I repeated myself, we passed it? He says YES! and I begin to panic. I asked what I should do and he looked very confused, he told me there was 3 stops, I thought "Great, I am about to walk my happy ass from the middle of nowhere because I missed my stop" this chaos goes on for about 5 minutes, I eventually look at my phone again and see that we had in fact not passed Ayutthaya. Something I have learned, Thais don't quite understand yes and no, or they dont say no. Regardless of what your asking they dont respond with "No". Anyways, I arrived in Ayutthaya just short of a panic attack that afternoon, along with feeling like I was literally dying. I hoped off the train, ate some fruit, hopped on a 5B water taxi, got on the island and searched for a Hostel. Eventually I found what I was looking for on a street with lots of other backpackers, I stayed at a place called "Goodluck Guest House." I got my room, and passed out for like 5 hours.
I awoke, still feeling of death. I came down to eat, got a little food down and determined my symptoms were pretty severe and concerning. I was about ready to head to the hospital as a friend of mine that lives here had suggested. I happened to meet another traveler, that little did I know would end up being an Angel for me the next few days. I told her how sick I was feeling and she had offered to go to the hospital with me. I decided to wait it out until the morning and headed to bed. Getting practically no sleep once again, tossing and turning. I was in the most pain I had ever felt in my entire life. My neck, my back, my knees, my elbows, my ankles, every joint on my body felt as though something had eaten away all the jelly substance that makes your joints move able. I would try to get up to go to the rest room and almost buckle to the floor. I couldn't stand straight, everything hurt. I was constantly sweating, and freezing and it was near 95 degrees here. My head was pounding like I had been knocked out over and over. I was in a constant state of dizziness, like my head felt like it was floating and I was seeing black spots everywhere. I was drinking as much water as I could get down, this was crazy. Tuesday morning Marie-Laure (My new friend) came to check on me because I had not made it down before 10am. I let her know I needed to go to the hospital and she had offered and decided to come with. I thought that was so incredibly sweet. I mean I was pretty frightened to go to the hospital in a foreign country alone. To describe the hospital experience in short....First off, their medical staff and process is wonderful. I felt very taken care of, they sell coconut oil everything right when you walk in which is beautiful in itself. It is clean, nobody is waiting to be seen. But, for someone who does not speak Thai, or two of us that do not speak Thai, and a staff full of non English speaking individuals. This became scary, fast. Some English was spoken but barely. When trying to describe symptoms, how long, whats going on, with the hope that they are understanding me and going to be able to treat me correctly became scary and frustrating. Eventually, some tests were done, we barely had to wait around, but I was tired, I was in a lot of pain, I sweating like crazy, then getting very cold, I had this great women with me that had a lot more patience and tolerance than I did at this moment who helped me a lot. The first thought was Dengue fever, they out ruled the flu, and thank goodness Dengue fever. But informed me I had a Bacteria infection in my blood, but could not tell me where it was coming from or how I got it. That in itself is really scary. As well as hearing this in barely spoken English, and that I am going to take an antibiotic and hope it works and get better. What if thats a miss diagnose?! What if it doesnt go away?! What if I have a reaction to the antibiotic?! What if I get even more sick?! WHAT IF!?!? Well I had to have faith, and let these doctors do their job, and trust and believe that my god would not bring me here to die from some stupid sickness. It just isnt going to happen that way. After I think maybe a total of 3 hours spent at the hospital, I paid 100$ for everything, tests, doctors, and prescriptions and was on my way home. I managed to sleep on and off the rest of that day and most of Wednesday still in excruciating pain.
While I was at the hospital I managed to have a few emotional and mental breakdowns while telling family and a few friends back home that I was sick and at the hospital. When shit gets that serious you begin to really get home sick, and sick of not having anyone that speaks your language, and sick of being alone. Sometimes you just want your mom, and best friends. Well thats what I wanted, I cried a lot. I just wanted to give up, I wanted to go home. I had had enough, Maybe I wasn't ready for this, maybe I am not prepared for anything to happen, maybe I am not a traveler. Sometimes I dont know how to cope, I struggle to just have faith and believe it will all be okay. Sometimes I just want comfort of family and friends, I want comfort of the known rather than constantly living in the unknown. Somethings I just want the easy route. Not everyone can be a world traveler and maybe I dont have the heart and the strength to keep traveling. I seem to be feeling weak often, and missing home often and struggling often so maybe this is my sign that I just need to come home. I gave it a shot, I traveled, I explored, I am sick now and I want my bed and my family. I am pretty sure voiced this to my mother, and a couple of my friends. I freaked my mom out pretty bad, which is something I am good at doing, when I panick I get others in a panick. I dont want to be adult about stuff. But I learned from this situation, I appologized to my mom. And I am an adult, in a foreign country, on my own-but creator is all around me protecting me I just have to remember that.
My siblings, my aunts, my parents, my friends all reached out to me while I was sick and gave me words of encouragement, motivation and pure love. I truely believe that everyones well wishes and thoughtful prayers lifted my spirit and my sickness because I eventually got better! I am so grateful to have the amazing and wonderful support that I have, it brings tears to my eyes. Everytime I recieved a message from someone I would literally cry happy tears. I cry a lot lately. Mostly happy, astonishing, joyful, grateful tears. I survived, I conquered the head, the thoughts, and the physical pain, I prayed a lot, and wrote a lot. Sometimes a sickness guides you to the healing light you need to begin to recover within the soul.
PS...I had started smoking again when I lost my vape here, I didn't want to admit it because I hate it. But being sick a cigarette sounded disgusting and as I sit here and type it is Sunday and I have 5 days no cigs, now that I have quit I can admit it ;)
Love,
Alicia
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Phitsanulok-Sukhothai-The orchestra that played my tune
Sa Wa Dee Ka! (I love saying hello/goodmorning in Thai)
After visiting the Elephant Hospital in Lampang, I jumped on a bus the next morning and heading to either Sukhothai or Phitsanulok I wasnt exactly sure but both were ahead in the distance. It was a long, but surprisingly comfortable bus ride, watching the countryside pass by. The rice fields, the villages, the farmers, the clouds, sometimes I found it looked very similar to home everything was so green (thanks to the rainy season....even though Thailand is in a drought). Other times it looked nothing like home, the occasional giant Buddha hidden in the trees, or temple perched up on the hill. I decided to stay in Phitsanulok for when I departure it is closer to Ayuthaya. I found a room at a hostel, dropped my stuff and began walking. This town was smaller, fairly busy and minimal tourists-which means minimal english. I ate the best Papaya Salad I have had thus far at the market by the Train Station that occurs every evening. I walked the river to find tons of little out door restraunts with seating right on the river. All of the menu's were in Thai and I had just eaten therefore I continued walking. Something I noticed for the first time was lots of people out running, the river had this perfect path along it that everyone seemed to run (kind of like Capital Lake back home). I had begun to really beat myself up for not exercising regularly while traveling. I have managed to put back on some of the weight that I worked really hard to get off before I left. Watching these runners really touched me (odd I know) it made me miss running, miss my workouts with my friends, this heat and humidity is so wearing just walking in it I cant imagine trying to do a full work out. But my head often comes up with excuses. I walked the entire route everyone ran and really enjoyed it while the sun set. At the end on the other side of the river there is outdoor foot massages everywhere, I also saw a street sign that said "Healthy Street." I loved the whole concept of this! And was inspired to find a way to get exercising incorporated into my travels. I am so hard on myself, and get so frustrated with how easily and quickly I put on weight even when carrying a 12k backpack and walking in 100 degree weather. Seeing that people here put the effort in even in the heat inspired me (though...I havent ran yet...)
Something I am working towards on this trip is learning to live without a clutch, without filling a void with something (food,coffee,nicotine, people, gum, SUGAR!, whatever). Obviously from the weight gain, and me being honest with myself I am not their yet. I find myself over eating, even fruits, whatever, because I am bored, and I dont want to be alone. And then I feel like shit. Followed with beating myself up about it, "Your in Thailand" "Your doing the same thing you did backhome" and so forth. I am working towards changing this behavior. It is hard, but food cannot fill a void just like drugs cant, or a person cant. Deepening my connection, allowing light to constantly flow in, will illuminate the dark spots inside, producing health, happiness, wellness. It is a journey, I will get there.
I visited Sukhothai which is about an hour away by bus. I met two lovely french women on the bus that day that I ended up cycling Sukhothai with. Sukhothai is a city filled with ancient ruins, it is beautiful. Stunning. We spent the day talking in English, French, and Thai. We ate Sukhothai noodles for lunch (they werent super exciting) and continued to cycle to ruins. It was relaxing, and gorgeous. The Energy I felt at these particular temple ruins was unlike anything I had experienced. At times I would walk onto certain sites and feel what I could only describe as a lightness overcome me, (the opposite of heavy). Othertimes I would assume one of my friends was behind me observiing and gazing at the beauty because I would feel the presents of someone only to turn around, and nobody was there, at all. It was creepy, or scary, nor did it feel haunting in anyway. It was just different. I could sit and meditate for a small amount of time and find my mind completely silent and focused which I have never experienced before. I prayed a lot to each Buddha because I was feeling a lot of internal pain with self acceptance. The ruins were massive, the energy was brilliant. This place was where I was supposed to be. My harmony felt aligned here, the instruments of an orchestra must be exactly attuned if the music is to be harmonious and perfect, this place was like an orchestra for me and the energy was the instruments.
Love,
Alicia
After visiting the Elephant Hospital in Lampang, I jumped on a bus the next morning and heading to either Sukhothai or Phitsanulok I wasnt exactly sure but both were ahead in the distance. It was a long, but surprisingly comfortable bus ride, watching the countryside pass by. The rice fields, the villages, the farmers, the clouds, sometimes I found it looked very similar to home everything was so green (thanks to the rainy season....even though Thailand is in a drought). Other times it looked nothing like home, the occasional giant Buddha hidden in the trees, or temple perched up on the hill. I decided to stay in Phitsanulok for when I departure it is closer to Ayuthaya. I found a room at a hostel, dropped my stuff and began walking. This town was smaller, fairly busy and minimal tourists-which means minimal english. I ate the best Papaya Salad I have had thus far at the market by the Train Station that occurs every evening. I walked the river to find tons of little out door restraunts with seating right on the river. All of the menu's were in Thai and I had just eaten therefore I continued walking. Something I noticed for the first time was lots of people out running, the river had this perfect path along it that everyone seemed to run (kind of like Capital Lake back home). I had begun to really beat myself up for not exercising regularly while traveling. I have managed to put back on some of the weight that I worked really hard to get off before I left. Watching these runners really touched me (odd I know) it made me miss running, miss my workouts with my friends, this heat and humidity is so wearing just walking in it I cant imagine trying to do a full work out. But my head often comes up with excuses. I walked the entire route everyone ran and really enjoyed it while the sun set. At the end on the other side of the river there is outdoor foot massages everywhere, I also saw a street sign that said "Healthy Street." I loved the whole concept of this! And was inspired to find a way to get exercising incorporated into my travels. I am so hard on myself, and get so frustrated with how easily and quickly I put on weight even when carrying a 12k backpack and walking in 100 degree weather. Seeing that people here put the effort in even in the heat inspired me (though...I havent ran yet...)
Something I am working towards on this trip is learning to live without a clutch, without filling a void with something (food,coffee,nicotine, people, gum, SUGAR!, whatever). Obviously from the weight gain, and me being honest with myself I am not their yet. I find myself over eating, even fruits, whatever, because I am bored, and I dont want to be alone. And then I feel like shit. Followed with beating myself up about it, "Your in Thailand" "Your doing the same thing you did backhome" and so forth. I am working towards changing this behavior. It is hard, but food cannot fill a void just like drugs cant, or a person cant. Deepening my connection, allowing light to constantly flow in, will illuminate the dark spots inside, producing health, happiness, wellness. It is a journey, I will get there.
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| Young Boys playing Soccer at the train station in Phitsanulok. |
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| The Mae Nam Nan |
I visited Sukhothai which is about an hour away by bus. I met two lovely french women on the bus that day that I ended up cycling Sukhothai with. Sukhothai is a city filled with ancient ruins, it is beautiful. Stunning. We spent the day talking in English, French, and Thai. We ate Sukhothai noodles for lunch (they werent super exciting) and continued to cycle to ruins. It was relaxing, and gorgeous. The Energy I felt at these particular temple ruins was unlike anything I had experienced. At times I would walk onto certain sites and feel what I could only describe as a lightness overcome me, (the opposite of heavy). Othertimes I would assume one of my friends was behind me observiing and gazing at the beauty because I would feel the presents of someone only to turn around, and nobody was there, at all. It was creepy, or scary, nor did it feel haunting in anyway. It was just different. I could sit and meditate for a small amount of time and find my mind completely silent and focused which I have never experienced before. I prayed a lot to each Buddha because I was feeling a lot of internal pain with self acceptance. The ruins were massive, the energy was brilliant. This place was where I was supposed to be. My harmony felt aligned here, the instruments of an orchestra must be exactly attuned if the music is to be harmonious and perfect, this place was like an orchestra for me and the energy was the instruments.
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| Sukhothai Historical Park |
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| Another Side of it |
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| The luck of the Buddha |
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| My half lotus needs work. |
Love,
Alicia
Friday, July 17, 2015
Lampang and the elephant hospital
I made it to Lampang yesterday by bus. Was dropped off in the rain, as I discussed in my previous post. Made it to an adorable homestay called Chai Lai right on the river here. It is low season and a much smaller town so it is myself and one other traveler here. He is a man that is 45 and has his entire passport filled including 5 inserts. We chatted for quite a long time about a lot of topics, he gave me some pointers. Great guy, with lots of travel experience.
This morning I got up and decided to rent a mountain bike, and cycle to the elephant hospital that was 30k away. I happen to rent the crappiest mountain bike in town I am sure of it. But whatever I was off and riding. It felt great, hills, and heat and sweat. I miss intense workouts like these. Arriving at the Elephant Hospital it was different that the camps and what have you. You dont pay a fee, there is not a bunch of tourists, in fact I think I was the only one. It is just like a hospital for people but for elephants. There were 13 there currently, 3 or 4 are permanent residences and the rest are in inpatient treatment. I walked in and just started observing the beautiful creatures. I had focused my attention on one initially because I noticed her foot immediately. This giant animal was carrying her weight on 3 legs. I cried, ive been crying a lot. I didn't know the story, I just know my heart hurt for her. I was given the opportunity to watch at 10 minute film regarding the hospital and the elephants. This was where I cried again, as I was educated on these animals and what the hospital is doing for them. Most of them are rescued from illegal logging in Burma, or from being tortured and mistreated for tourism, but also some come because well they need to be hospitalized and taken care of. A local volunteer names Lynn walked me around and explained each elephants situation to me, we laughed together while trying to figure out what each other was saying. She gave me bananas to feed one of the Elephants that I had so much fun with. I cannot remember how to pronounce her name I just know it started with a J and she also had a foot injury but had not lost it.
This picture brings tears of joy to my eyes, I got to feed an elephant that was in the hospital bananas. How neat. The courage that these animals have to continue to live, continue to try and gain strength after being tortured or injured by bombs and logs is beautiful. Just because these animals dont have voices, does not mean they don't deserve the same love and care as humans. I also got to play with a baby elephant named Kaewadee (I think I got that right) he was so playful, we fed him a huge, giant! thing of bananas and he ate them all up. Being here, just hanging out with elephants watching them be couragous through the pain, the poking and proding, inspires me. No matter how rough, hard or tough life can get always keep going, there is always someone on your side.
Meeting Motala and her story of courage and strength, she allowed humans to work on her and with her to rehabilitate her after her leg was blown off by a landmine in Burma. I watched her play in the sand, I think at one point she was playing hide and seek with me. As the sun rolled out she rolled over into her sand and decided it was time for a nap. I didn't want to leave, but like a hospital for humans, the patients needed their rest.
I took off riding back on my back, stopped at a huge street market and got the most amazing fresh and dried fruit balls, I have no clue what they are but the girl let me try like 5 kinds and I bought them for my long haul home. I also got the stapple snack in Thailand, puffed rice crackers with watermelon juice dried on them, those are delicious as well. It rained about 15k before reaching town and I laughed, it down poured but felt great. These words I hear of others telling me I have courage makes my heart jump, if these elephants can recover from the tragedies they have experienced I can recover and travel and survive myself, my own worst enemy. I can grow, I can change, I can triumph the hard times. If I can bike like I have been in Thailand with no choice but to push forward, I can travel through foreign countries just the same. (I also thought, who needs abs when you got legs for days that can move you like theres no tomorrow on a bike or even running. My legs are spectacular screw a flat stomach that doesnt get you anywhere haha.) That was a side note while riding today....I also considered just getting a mountain bike, and biking cross countries. Maybe not this trip because I dont think the Gulf of Thailand will allow me to ride a bike through it to Bali. But for my travels ahead!
Hung wan ni wela (One day at a time)
Blissfully yours,
Alicia
This morning I got up and decided to rent a mountain bike, and cycle to the elephant hospital that was 30k away. I happen to rent the crappiest mountain bike in town I am sure of it. But whatever I was off and riding. It felt great, hills, and heat and sweat. I miss intense workouts like these. Arriving at the Elephant Hospital it was different that the camps and what have you. You dont pay a fee, there is not a bunch of tourists, in fact I think I was the only one. It is just like a hospital for people but for elephants. There were 13 there currently, 3 or 4 are permanent residences and the rest are in inpatient treatment. I walked in and just started observing the beautiful creatures. I had focused my attention on one initially because I noticed her foot immediately. This giant animal was carrying her weight on 3 legs. I cried, ive been crying a lot. I didn't know the story, I just know my heart hurt for her. I was given the opportunity to watch at 10 minute film regarding the hospital and the elephants. This was where I cried again, as I was educated on these animals and what the hospital is doing for them. Most of them are rescued from illegal logging in Burma, or from being tortured and mistreated for tourism, but also some come because well they need to be hospitalized and taken care of. A local volunteer names Lynn walked me around and explained each elephants situation to me, we laughed together while trying to figure out what each other was saying. She gave me bananas to feed one of the Elephants that I had so much fun with. I cannot remember how to pronounce her name I just know it started with a J and she also had a foot injury but had not lost it.
Meeting Motala and her story of courage and strength, she allowed humans to work on her and with her to rehabilitate her after her leg was blown off by a landmine in Burma. I watched her play in the sand, I think at one point she was playing hide and seek with me. As the sun rolled out she rolled over into her sand and decided it was time for a nap. I didn't want to leave, but like a hospital for humans, the patients needed their rest.
I took off riding back on my back, stopped at a huge street market and got the most amazing fresh and dried fruit balls, I have no clue what they are but the girl let me try like 5 kinds and I bought them for my long haul home. I also got the stapple snack in Thailand, puffed rice crackers with watermelon juice dried on them, those are delicious as well. It rained about 15k before reaching town and I laughed, it down poured but felt great. These words I hear of others telling me I have courage makes my heart jump, if these elephants can recover from the tragedies they have experienced I can recover and travel and survive myself, my own worst enemy. I can grow, I can change, I can triumph the hard times. If I can bike like I have been in Thailand with no choice but to push forward, I can travel through foreign countries just the same. (I also thought, who needs abs when you got legs for days that can move you like theres no tomorrow on a bike or even running. My legs are spectacular screw a flat stomach that doesnt get you anywhere haha.) That was a side note while riding today....I also considered just getting a mountain bike, and biking cross countries. Maybe not this trip because I dont think the Gulf of Thailand will allow me to ride a bike through it to Bali. But for my travels ahead!
Hung wan ni wela (One day at a time)
Blissfully yours,
Alicia
Surrender to the process
I haven't posted a new blog because the last week has been on and off good, and tough. I was experiencing a ton of feelings, frustrations, annoyed, lonely, dirty, bored...The list could go on, and believe me, I made a list in a journal.
I got to cycle 85k with a group of friends in recovery I had met in Chiang Mai last Saturday. I call it the tour de Thailand...haha it was a blast, it was difficult, it hurt, but riding along with other recovering addicts doing something mentally, and physically challenging just sparked a light in me, I felt right at home. The guy who set up the ride pointed out that myself and a few others had never ridden this far before. Oh, and let me tell you when I showed up that morning to ride, almost everyone that was going was in legit biker gear, padded shorts, the shirts, helmets...I thought "oh no, what did I get myself into... I sweated so much I had salt stuck on my skin like I had swam in the ocean, but worse. My butt hurt to the point that stopping felt more painful than pushing through. Good conversations were had, a great lunch in a town called Lamphun ( the town we rode to). Quiet town, with very old temples. The path back was along the Ping river the entire route. It was peaceful and calm, I saw what fish hatcheries look like in Thailand. We did get on the highway towards the end, and actually rode on the freeway merging and changing lanes, getting on and off exits ON A BICYCLE! I was freaked, but had to keep up and just follow suit. It was crazy to be riding a bike with cars and motorbikes going 40-50 mph. But what an experience. Overall I felt I was right where I was supposed to be, I really enjoy and connect with the people in recovery here. Even though my body was sore, my heart was happy. I even got a thai massage that night.
The following day I had the opportunity to share my experience, strength, and hope with a recovery house in Chiang Mai. My friends from Portland showed up for support which was comforting but also increased the nerves. I prayed, and shared from my heart. I felt so honored and blessed (so blessed ;) ) to be sharing with recovering addicts from all over the world.
Maybe the dopamine from the bikeride, and the increased joy, and happiness and all around love I was experiencing lead to me feeling like I was coming down. From a high on life. But I struggled with loneliness, frustration, feeling dirty and hot and well bored the following days. I didn't do much, and I guess feeling like every day has to be an adventure of amazing stories got to me. Realizing I am still running from myself even across the world in a foreign country when the only constant is myself and my creator. I found myself waste deep in pain. Regarding a lot of which I shared about on Sunday, so maybe thats the universe showing me I have more work to do.
My arrogance, my selfishness was full fledge. I could not stop complaining in my head about the heat, and humidity and having no escape. I was sick of the bathroom situation, the lack of toilet paper and paper towels. Almost all toilets are squat toilets, so if you hold your pee and finally find a restroom and squat in a flat ceramic "thing" on the ground it splashes you, only to look up and find no TP and your sweating profusely became very frustrating over and over again. This would be because I was walking around the city instead of taking taxi's. Constantly buying water, constantly smelling sewage, fish, or what I am convinced is either chicken cages or dog cages inside buildings. You walk past and just smell a smell that makes me almost throw up and I dont throw up from smells. I was feeling alone, and pissed off and dirty and annoyed and I just wanted to give up. I wanted to go home and see my mom, my dad, my family, my friends. I wanted to get a good workout in, a yoga session, swim in a clean and cold river. I wanted to go back to everything I know because it sounded easier and comforting. And I had only been in Thailand a little over 2 weeks.
I prayed a lot, I wrote a lot, I walked a lot, I reached out to my sponsor and my best friend. I pushed through, or sat in my feelings. I cried, I napped, I walked an hour to get to a womens meeting only to find out I went to the complete wrong place. I cried some more. I got upset and jealous seeing couples, and friends all together. At times I wish I drank so I could go out and meet people that way. I tried to meet others, struck up conversations, I tried to communicate with the locals that got hard quickly. I could go on. I think I have complained to much as it is, but I think its important to share the struggles. Not every day on this journey is going to be rainbows and butterflies. Its going to get hard, its going to hurt, I am going to want to give up and go home but I have this opportunity to grow instead. I have this opportunity and precious time to focus on nothing but myself, to look at myself internally and develop a greater understanding of who I am and what I want in life.
I have the opportunity to do this with a clear and somewhat innocent mind becasue of the hard work I have put in the last 3 years. I am not going to spend every day adventuring, everyday with myself in a foreign country is an adventure.
One of my last days in Chiang Mai, I got to meet and chat with a manager at the treatment facility in Chiang Mai. It changed my whole perspective on things. It went well, and if the opportunity arise's I could find myself staying at least to find out if I could make it permanent. Who knows what will happen, and I am continuing my trabvels, but staying open to everything...the best I can ;). Anyways, that same day I ventured to a temple to sit and speak with a monk. He brought tears to my eyes mutltiple times, and shared with me some very wise words. I asked if living the monk life was difficult because of temptation. He shared "the monk life has 237 rules we live by, these rules are to help us not hinder us" "Buddha believed that suffering comes from the mind, and happiness comes from the mind." "If we are living with greed, hate, jealousy, obsession, we are suffering" "Happiness can lead to greed, hate, jealous, and obessesion which leads to suffering" "Practicing control of the mind through meditation teaches us how to control our minds" He shared a lot more with me, a lot of stuff that tugged on my heart strings and I am not sure he meant to. It was incredibly enlightening. I mean Monks have 237 rules they live by daily, they walk around in the mornings to collect donations for their one meal a day, one meal, they live in the monestries at the temples. They eat, sleep, and breath buddhism and "monk life." My problems are so miniscule and self inflicted. What I gained is to work on my mind, work on myself internally.
I began to realize how selfish to complain about toilets and luxeries such as tp and paper towels, being in a developed 3rd world country stuck with my americanized mind. It sometimes upsets me that I am so conditioned to luxeries that most of the world does not have access to and when I get them taken away I freak out like a spoiled child. Remembering being back home and getting upset with foreigners because I could not understand them, and here I am in a country and the further away from tourism I get the less english is spoken or known. The more I feel ashamed and embarrased that I am trying to speak english like they should know what I am saying. I mean I got dropped off in the pouring rain at a gas station because of confusion and language barriers and I didnt want to get stuck on bus heading a few hours south of the town I was headed to. Luckily the gas station was in the town, but I was very confused and again frustrated. I act like they should know english, like duh. Thats so not right, and I have to constantly change my thought process when I am in this situation. I guess all of this adapting and feeling alone and frustrated is part of the process. part of the Journey. That is the conclusion, and I have to be willing to change, and look at these feelings and learn from these experiences, otherwise I will make this trip miserable for myself.
I found gratitude again, I pushed through the lonely feelings and just stayed out and about all day my last day in Chiang Mai, after seeing the monk I met up with a fellow solo traveler that blog and photographs and went to the infamous Ladyboy Caberet and it was off the hook. By far an amazing show, amazing energy, a blast.
I know my blogs are super long, imagine when I write. These are for me to reflect back on as well.
Love,
Alicia
Monday, July 13, 2015
Peace out Pai
I am still playing catch up, blogging is hard work when your traveling I must say. Hats off to all the travel bloggers that do this for a living (there are many who fund their travels through blogging, who also helped my preparation immensily). The days following the wonderous trekk in the Thailand Jungle were mostly filled with relaxing and enjoying my last days in Pai. Although I had no real plans to leave, I knew I would be soon. The rain was coming more frequently and the bugs were getting heavier and heavier. The girls and I attended the Wednesday Morning market in Pai that was apparently for locals because we were the only tourists there, and english was not frequented like it is in the touristy areas. The market was large, and consisted of EVERYTHING. A lot of STUFF...just stuff. We were mostly interested in the food, and fruits. As all three of us were backpackers so purchasing more stuff to haul around was not ideal. We purchased mangosteens, some coconut snacks, waffles, fruit jellies, mangos, some hairy fruit I cant remember the name of (ill add pictures). I got two different noodle lunches by accident both were delicious though one was an afternoon snack. The girls taught me how to cut into fruit and having a pocket knife was convenient. We enjoyed wandering about attempting to ask what items were and getting no where quickly.
That would be Durian.
Wednesday night we had decided to hitchike home from Pai to Chiang Mai. It was cheaper, and a lot more fun than taking a bus. Really I was incredibly nervous and all I could think about was how much my parents were going to freak out if I told them. We did it anyways, besides three girls together, two of which have knives on them, we would be fine. As well, many, many people hitchhike from Pai to Chiang Mai, a girlfriend we talked with the day before had successfully done it alone. Of all the places I have been, which may not be a lot, this was probably the safest place to hitchike. Thursday came, we checked out, met for lunch and put our bags on and started walking towards the one road that goes in and out leading Pai to Chiang Mai. We made a sign, stuck out our thumbs and hoped for the best! An older local lady came over and was trying to wave down cars for us! Haha! It was great. we had a blast, but nobody was stopping... Last resort was the last bus out of Pai at 5. We made bets on how long it would take us, and eventually we struck gold! A thai couple picked us up, the woman was pregnant, and they did not speak any english. We jumped in and headed down the 700 curve road. It was exciting, and then the drive set in and we tried to get comfy in the back of the tiny car. No luck. But best of all we arrived in Chiang Mai safe and sound. I had just survived my first hitchhike!!! Pretty happy about that.
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| A glimpes of the market |
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| The hair fruit I cant remember the name of |
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| Mangosteen |
Lots of fish, everywhere, you see it and you smell it.
Those are a few of the goodies I have tried thus far. I have found that they add sugar to every thing. They even serve sugar on the table with pepper, chilles, jalepenos and sauces. It is very odd. If you get a fruit smoothie (which are also everywhere here) you have to ask for no sugar.
I spent Wednesday relaxing and lounging around in my Hammock as it rained a bit more than usual. I had blisters on my feet from the hike so shoes were a pain. I bought a book, chatted with some other travelers and mostly let myself just be. It felt great, the girls went off biking again. We met for dinner when they returned, I had purchased Durian earleir which is another fruit they introduced me to. And we ate if for desert. Most hotels/ restraunts wont allow you to have Durian because the smell is very strong. Though I dont think it is a bad smell, it sure smells better than the frequent sewage smell.
Wednesday night we had decided to hitchike home from Pai to Chiang Mai. It was cheaper, and a lot more fun than taking a bus. Really I was incredibly nervous and all I could think about was how much my parents were going to freak out if I told them. We did it anyways, besides three girls together, two of which have knives on them, we would be fine. As well, many, many people hitchhike from Pai to Chiang Mai, a girlfriend we talked with the day before had successfully done it alone. Of all the places I have been, which may not be a lot, this was probably the safest place to hitchike. Thursday came, we checked out, met for lunch and put our bags on and started walking towards the one road that goes in and out leading Pai to Chiang Mai. We made a sign, stuck out our thumbs and hoped for the best! An older local lady came over and was trying to wave down cars for us! Haha! It was great. we had a blast, but nobody was stopping... Last resort was the last bus out of Pai at 5. We made bets on how long it would take us, and eventually we struck gold! A thai couple picked us up, the woman was pregnant, and they did not speak any english. We jumped in and headed down the 700 curve road. It was exciting, and then the drive set in and we tried to get comfy in the back of the tiny car. No luck. But best of all we arrived in Chiang Mai safe and sound. I had just survived my first hitchhike!!! Pretty happy about that.
Chiang Mai or bust.
Thursday night we got our rooms and met at one of the night markets for food. I ate some crazy soup with octopus in it...
And said Goodnight to Chiang Mai.
Love,
Alicia
Pai's Forgotten Waterfall- Hua Chang
Sawadeeka!
The day after my Birthday here in Thailand, and on my actual birthday in America myself and two female travelers I met decided to trekk to Hua Chang waterfalls- a forgotten waterfall most tourist don't attempt to visit! And let me tell you, I can understand why! So as I mentioned in the last blog, I met a woman name Alina from Lithuania and we had planned to rent cycles and ride to the forgotten waterfall! This morning, while picking out bikes, making sure we were getting decent qaulity bikes, we met a woman named Audrey from France, who was getting ready to make the exact same trekk. Excited we chatted and decided to ride and hike together! We got our bikes and off we went. Now I dont know exactly the distance, but from what we gathered we rode about 7 or 8k through villages, and farm land, the scenery in Pai is incredibly peaceful and beautiful. We stopped and gathered Mangos from a tree to carry for lunch and continued on until we could not ride our bikes any further. From the directions we got, the trekk would be about 1-2 hours through the jungle eventually reaching the waterfall. We crossed the river (the first of many crossings) and began on a seemingly often trekked path. Eventually we came upon a farmer made waterfall and played for a minute, embracing the beauty of the jungle we were walking in. I had to continue to re-direct my thinking and distract my often thoughts of spiders, and snakes. I mean afterall we were in the jungle, and those thoughts were completely rational! I continued to admire how brave and courages these two women were, they didn't seem phased by the jungle at all. To try and describe the noises that we heard is almost impossible. I think the best way for me to describe it was it sounded as though saw's were cutting down trees and major construction was happening all around us. Reality was it was all of the bugs, and creatures making such a rucus. We saw beautiful plants and flowers, a spider the size of my face, and I was just waiting for a python or cobra to say hello. The girls really helped reassure me that all of these creatures were more scared of me than I was of them and making noise keeps them away. We talked a lot and I really enjoyed listening to their accents and hearing about their lives and adventures. It was very comforting to see that I had met two brave and adventurous woman on a similar path as myself.
The man with the Bamboo Raft...
Eventually we came upon a motorbike (there was not much sign of human life in these jungles just fyi). Audrey peaked down to see who was with the bike, it was a local man with a large knife! haha but he was totally harmless. We asked what he was doing, and though he barely spoke english he showed us. He was building a bamboo raft, much like a paddle board back home. The girls jumped on while I watched, somewhat afraid of what was in the river as well as laughing while they tried to manuever on this raft. They had bamboo poles to use as paddles and eventually found balance and paddled around. I hopped on next and paddled away, how cool! Out here deep in the Thailand Jungle, paddling on a homemade bamboo raft. We had many laughs and jokes, the man asked us if we were going to the waterfall and offered to lead us there. Again, my western thinking had my thoughts racing, while staring at this huge knife he carried (it was to cut bamboo). The girls and I accepted happily and off we went. Oh right before we left Audreys flip flop had broken, and this man thoughfully and skillfully used some rope and fixed it (this would happen a couple more times). We hiked and hiked, asking the man about different fruits we would find, bugs, flowers, etc. He was able to communicate fairly well with us, answering if things were dangerous, edible and what not. It was so neat to have a local guiding us through this jungle, and I grew more and more comfortable with him. The heat was setting in, the lack of water and food due to storage space while hiking was beginning to get to me. Crossing the river multiple times I was growing blisters on my feet that adgitated me as well. I was sure that there was not a waterfall here anymore. We trekked on. I cant describe every detail and every conversation but what I can say it what an enlightening and cultural experience we were having. I knew that my creator did not bring me to Thailand to have a local kill me in the jungle, but rather guided me to an experience I would have never had if I let my head get in the way.
Hua Chang- The waterfall exist!
And I have lots of video and pictures to prove it! How absolutely stunning and beautiful. It was large, we climbed rocks to the top, and then climbed down to the bottom. Audrey and I snapped photos while standing under the pouring water. We played and found relief from the heat. The waterfall was worth the 2 hour hike. We sat around and ate fresh mango's for lunch. I bit into one with worms that almost made me throw up! The local man peeled me one of his and I ate that, it was delicious. Bugs were fierce and we knew the trek home would be long so eventually, after embracing the beauty we began the trekk back.
I had so many feelings of fear, joy, relief, happiness overwhelming me. I felt like I was Mogley (spelling?) from the Junglebook. I was so grateful and happy to have met these girls, Audrey's flip flop broke again and she trekked with no shoes on, I was so amazed. I couldnt count how many ant hills, and fire ants we walked through and she just hiked barefoot. I loved it. I learned that if I stay reserved, and let my head and my fears get in the way I will continue to miss experiences like this. A lesson I continue to learn on this trip.
I think the total distance we biked and trekked was roughly 17-18k but I am not positive, I know we were out all day. Once we arrived in town we sat down and had a big afternoon lunch and the rain came. Perfect timing. I moved from my hotel to a hostel, that had a bug net, no AC and a cold shower. Oh boy, it begins. Living with minimal accomidations opened my eyes to what I take for granted back home. I had a hammock and free morning coffee and water so really, thats all I needed.
Love,
The day after my Birthday here in Thailand, and on my actual birthday in America myself and two female travelers I met decided to trekk to Hua Chang waterfalls- a forgotten waterfall most tourist don't attempt to visit! And let me tell you, I can understand why! So as I mentioned in the last blog, I met a woman name Alina from Lithuania and we had planned to rent cycles and ride to the forgotten waterfall! This morning, while picking out bikes, making sure we were getting decent qaulity bikes, we met a woman named Audrey from France, who was getting ready to make the exact same trekk. Excited we chatted and decided to ride and hike together! We got our bikes and off we went. Now I dont know exactly the distance, but from what we gathered we rode about 7 or 8k through villages, and farm land, the scenery in Pai is incredibly peaceful and beautiful. We stopped and gathered Mangos from a tree to carry for lunch and continued on until we could not ride our bikes any further. From the directions we got, the trekk would be about 1-2 hours through the jungle eventually reaching the waterfall. We crossed the river (the first of many crossings) and began on a seemingly often trekked path. Eventually we came upon a farmer made waterfall and played for a minute, embracing the beauty of the jungle we were walking in. I had to continue to re-direct my thinking and distract my often thoughts of spiders, and snakes. I mean afterall we were in the jungle, and those thoughts were completely rational! I continued to admire how brave and courages these two women were, they didn't seem phased by the jungle at all. To try and describe the noises that we heard is almost impossible. I think the best way for me to describe it was it sounded as though saw's were cutting down trees and major construction was happening all around us. Reality was it was all of the bugs, and creatures making such a rucus. We saw beautiful plants and flowers, a spider the size of my face, and I was just waiting for a python or cobra to say hello. The girls really helped reassure me that all of these creatures were more scared of me than I was of them and making noise keeps them away. We talked a lot and I really enjoyed listening to their accents and hearing about their lives and adventures. It was very comforting to see that I had met two brave and adventurous woman on a similar path as myself.
The man with the Bamboo Raft...
Eventually we came upon a motorbike (there was not much sign of human life in these jungles just fyi). Audrey peaked down to see who was with the bike, it was a local man with a large knife! haha but he was totally harmless. We asked what he was doing, and though he barely spoke english he showed us. He was building a bamboo raft, much like a paddle board back home. The girls jumped on while I watched, somewhat afraid of what was in the river as well as laughing while they tried to manuever on this raft. They had bamboo poles to use as paddles and eventually found balance and paddled around. I hopped on next and paddled away, how cool! Out here deep in the Thailand Jungle, paddling on a homemade bamboo raft. We had many laughs and jokes, the man asked us if we were going to the waterfall and offered to lead us there. Again, my western thinking had my thoughts racing, while staring at this huge knife he carried (it was to cut bamboo). The girls and I accepted happily and off we went. Oh right before we left Audreys flip flop had broken, and this man thoughfully and skillfully used some rope and fixed it (this would happen a couple more times). We hiked and hiked, asking the man about different fruits we would find, bugs, flowers, etc. He was able to communicate fairly well with us, answering if things were dangerous, edible and what not. It was so neat to have a local guiding us through this jungle, and I grew more and more comfortable with him. The heat was setting in, the lack of water and food due to storage space while hiking was beginning to get to me. Crossing the river multiple times I was growing blisters on my feet that adgitated me as well. I was sure that there was not a waterfall here anymore. We trekked on. I cant describe every detail and every conversation but what I can say it what an enlightening and cultural experience we were having. I knew that my creator did not bring me to Thailand to have a local kill me in the jungle, but rather guided me to an experience I would have never had if I let my head get in the way.
 |
| The bamboo raft |
Hua Chang- The waterfall exist!
And I have lots of video and pictures to prove it! How absolutely stunning and beautiful. It was large, we climbed rocks to the top, and then climbed down to the bottom. Audrey and I snapped photos while standing under the pouring water. We played and found relief from the heat. The waterfall was worth the 2 hour hike. We sat around and ate fresh mango's for lunch. I bit into one with worms that almost made me throw up! The local man peeled me one of his and I ate that, it was delicious. Bugs were fierce and we knew the trek home would be long so eventually, after embracing the beauty we began the trekk back.
I had so many feelings of fear, joy, relief, happiness overwhelming me. I felt like I was Mogley (spelling?) from the Junglebook. I was so grateful and happy to have met these girls, Audrey's flip flop broke again and she trekked with no shoes on, I was so amazed. I couldnt count how many ant hills, and fire ants we walked through and she just hiked barefoot. I loved it. I learned that if I stay reserved, and let my head and my fears get in the way I will continue to miss experiences like this. A lesson I continue to learn on this trip.
I think the total distance we biked and trekked was roughly 17-18k but I am not positive, I know we were out all day. Once we arrived in town we sat down and had a big afternoon lunch and the rain came. Perfect timing. I moved from my hotel to a hostel, that had a bug net, no AC and a cold shower. Oh boy, it begins. Living with minimal accomidations opened my eyes to what I take for granted back home. I had a hammock and free morning coffee and water so really, thats all I needed.
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| Myself, Alina, & Audrey taking a break on our bikeride! |
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| Man Made waterfall |
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| We made it to Hua Chang the Forgotten Waterfall |
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| The gorgeous scenery along the way! |
Alicia
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
25 and alive in thai
July 6th- Sukhsant wan keid! (Happy Birthday)
The day began with a video call to mom and dad, sister and nieces. Their day was ending as mine was beginning. It was our first call since I left and it was great to see their faces. It also made me miss them that much more. It was hard to grasp spending my birthday without my family. The 2nd birthday in 25 years. As my 21st was spent in treatment. But what a beautiful transition from 4 years ago. Treatment to Thailand. It brings tears to my eyes to think I am 25 years old and traveling Thailand, I never would have imagined doing this for my birthday. As much as I wish I could have my family and friends with me, I feel whole inside knowing I was capable of following a dream. Thanks mom, dad, and my siblings for being so supportive and believing in me. I miss you all, and my 4 beautiful nieces.
So, I treated myself to breakfast at my hotel, French toast, eggs, and fruit. The best french toast I have ever had. Homemade rolls turned into french toast, and the fruit was so fresh and delicious. I was in heaven. I met up with the girls I had met yesterday and we rented scooters for the day! We were all very nervous to drive them, there are pretty much no rules to the road and no speed limits. We shared our fears but pushed through and started riding those babys! It was so much fun. We rode out to the Pom Bok waterfall hiked a small hill, crossed a sketchy bridge and found ourselves emersed in caves, and rock walls. There was a gorgeous waterfall and swimming hole. I swam out to the waterfall and let the water pound against me as I tried to climb the rocks. It felt so good to tilt my head back and have the cool water pound on my head. (weird I know). It sounded like thunder coming down. I have never swam into a waterfall like that. Until now. I was swimming in waterfalls in Thailand to ring in being a quarter of a century and I couldnt be happier. I watched some guys climbing the rocks to jump off into the swimming hole, rocks in here are incredibly slippery. In fact, I am finding a lot of things here are slippery. I followed suit and climbed up these rocks, only to climb a little higher than I needed and adrenaline kicking in. Of course, my heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I felt stuck. I turned around to see, and really I was not that high, but the only solution was to finish climbing and jump, I could not just climb back down. The chances of slipping and falling on the rocks below were to great to risk. A gentlement from england I believe, coerced me into pushing through the fear. He guided me with his adorable accent on where to step. I eventually was able to climb to the right spot only to freeze. I love the adrenaline rush, but I find like many things, if I think to much my head gets in the way of taking action. It took some breathing and a lot of cheering from the many foreign views ( I am pretty sure some people got photos and videos that I will never see). In the blink of an eye I jumped. It was stunning, wonderful, fullfilling and exciting. I loved it. I mean I didnt come to Thailand to stop when I got scared. I didnt come to Thailand to let fear control me. I dropped the rock and jumped (Jillian and Rachel understand that metaphor ;).
On our journey back to town we stopped along the road at what is called "The Land Crack." A local farmer, has opened up a seating area for tourist to stop at upon their return from the falls. The name comes from a phenomenom that occured in 2008. This farmer awoke one morning to a giant crack in his land. Over the years the crack grew larger and larger. We walked up to witness this and what a site it was. The strangest thing with no explanation to this day. This was devistating for this farmer and his family for he could no longer farm his land. (Farming is how almost all of the locals provide for their families here) When you stop in he greets you with Roselle iced tea that is incredibly delicious. He has you sit in the common area that is created with stumps and wood and bamboo. He brings out freshly farmed peanuts, bananas, banana chips, potatoes and something I am unsure of the name but it resembles large bean pods, covered in a dark gew. I tried it and it was very sour. He also brings out homemade jam. He does not ask you to pay, but does request donation to help support his family. It was such a great experience and shows how giving and kind the thai culture is. He was the sweetest man. It is amazing to witness how resourceful and creative the thai culture is. As we left the "Land Crack" we met two girls traveling to the Pai Canyon, so we tagged along. The Canyon was once again breathtaking and amazing. What a different change of pace, we were just swimming in waterfalls and now we were standing above Pai on what appeared to be a desert canyon. We hiked around but the paths are small and narrow and not to mention slippery. It was gorgeous to jsut look around and embrace it all. Very similar to the grand canyon experience I had during Christmas. Something beautiful and unique here is everything is very untouched. Though there is garbage left from tourists that visit, which saddens me. There is not anyone at a booth asking for you to pay them to visit these natural places, there isn't anything being built or renovated.
We arrived back to town and split up, I went to grab some late lunch at Good Life cafe and met a woman from Lithuania outside the cafe. We chatted about green juices, health foods, and travel. She had recently arrived in Pai and at one point I shared with her it was my birthday. She agreed to meet up later to hangout and celebrate. I decided to take off on my motorbike to watch the sunset. I had no destination and an open road to myself. I cruised passed villages, farms, farmers still hard at work. The locals smiled and waved as I drove passed with a giant grin on my face. I stopped for some pictures, took in the breath of the sunset and could barely grasp that I was 25 standing in the middle of Northern Thailand and not a wisp of loneliness was near.
Later I met up with Alina, the woman from Lithuania, I had decided to try some squid and asked her to join at which point she shared with me she was vegan. I loved it, and she was totally supportive of me being adventurous with the squid. We walked and talked and head to a hangout spot I had heard was a lot of fun. The name: Edible Jazz; the vibe: chill, relaxing, and live music/open mic. We ordered fruit smoothies and talked the night away. We had made plans to get bikes in the morning and cycle to a waterfall. I was really beginning to find my place in Pai, and in traveling solo. I can meet new people and build new relationships. This is happening, this was happening. The best present I could give myself is the ability to expand my social skills (besides being in thailand). Well one of the best, I think it is the beginning of many gifts on this journey, I am just so exctatic to have met her! We made our way back to our rooms for the night. And my Thailand birthday came to an end. It was perfect. My heart was happy, my soul was happy. I did find myself telling people it was my birthday but I also found myself forgetting, and not needing to make it all about me.
I turned 25, feeling incredibly alive, all in Thailand. I can dig being a quarter of a century.
Love Always,
Alicia
The day began with a video call to mom and dad, sister and nieces. Their day was ending as mine was beginning. It was our first call since I left and it was great to see their faces. It also made me miss them that much more. It was hard to grasp spending my birthday without my family. The 2nd birthday in 25 years. As my 21st was spent in treatment. But what a beautiful transition from 4 years ago. Treatment to Thailand. It brings tears to my eyes to think I am 25 years old and traveling Thailand, I never would have imagined doing this for my birthday. As much as I wish I could have my family and friends with me, I feel whole inside knowing I was capable of following a dream. Thanks mom, dad, and my siblings for being so supportive and believing in me. I miss you all, and my 4 beautiful nieces.
So, I treated myself to breakfast at my hotel, French toast, eggs, and fruit. The best french toast I have ever had. Homemade rolls turned into french toast, and the fruit was so fresh and delicious. I was in heaven. I met up with the girls I had met yesterday and we rented scooters for the day! We were all very nervous to drive them, there are pretty much no rules to the road and no speed limits. We shared our fears but pushed through and started riding those babys! It was so much fun. We rode out to the Pom Bok waterfall hiked a small hill, crossed a sketchy bridge and found ourselves emersed in caves, and rock walls. There was a gorgeous waterfall and swimming hole. I swam out to the waterfall and let the water pound against me as I tried to climb the rocks. It felt so good to tilt my head back and have the cool water pound on my head. (weird I know). It sounded like thunder coming down. I have never swam into a waterfall like that. Until now. I was swimming in waterfalls in Thailand to ring in being a quarter of a century and I couldnt be happier. I watched some guys climbing the rocks to jump off into the swimming hole, rocks in here are incredibly slippery. In fact, I am finding a lot of things here are slippery. I followed suit and climbed up these rocks, only to climb a little higher than I needed and adrenaline kicking in. Of course, my heart was racing, my hands were shaking, and I felt stuck. I turned around to see, and really I was not that high, but the only solution was to finish climbing and jump, I could not just climb back down. The chances of slipping and falling on the rocks below were to great to risk. A gentlement from england I believe, coerced me into pushing through the fear. He guided me with his adorable accent on where to step. I eventually was able to climb to the right spot only to freeze. I love the adrenaline rush, but I find like many things, if I think to much my head gets in the way of taking action. It took some breathing and a lot of cheering from the many foreign views ( I am pretty sure some people got photos and videos that I will never see). In the blink of an eye I jumped. It was stunning, wonderful, fullfilling and exciting. I loved it. I mean I didnt come to Thailand to stop when I got scared. I didnt come to Thailand to let fear control me. I dropped the rock and jumped (Jillian and Rachel understand that metaphor ;).
On our journey back to town we stopped along the road at what is called "The Land Crack." A local farmer, has opened up a seating area for tourist to stop at upon their return from the falls. The name comes from a phenomenom that occured in 2008. This farmer awoke one morning to a giant crack in his land. Over the years the crack grew larger and larger. We walked up to witness this and what a site it was. The strangest thing with no explanation to this day. This was devistating for this farmer and his family for he could no longer farm his land. (Farming is how almost all of the locals provide for their families here) When you stop in he greets you with Roselle iced tea that is incredibly delicious. He has you sit in the common area that is created with stumps and wood and bamboo. He brings out freshly farmed peanuts, bananas, banana chips, potatoes and something I am unsure of the name but it resembles large bean pods, covered in a dark gew. I tried it and it was very sour. He also brings out homemade jam. He does not ask you to pay, but does request donation to help support his family. It was such a great experience and shows how giving and kind the thai culture is. He was the sweetest man. It is amazing to witness how resourceful and creative the thai culture is. As we left the "Land Crack" we met two girls traveling to the Pai Canyon, so we tagged along. The Canyon was once again breathtaking and amazing. What a different change of pace, we were just swimming in waterfalls and now we were standing above Pai on what appeared to be a desert canyon. We hiked around but the paths are small and narrow and not to mention slippery. It was gorgeous to jsut look around and embrace it all. Very similar to the grand canyon experience I had during Christmas. Something beautiful and unique here is everything is very untouched. Though there is garbage left from tourists that visit, which saddens me. There is not anyone at a booth asking for you to pay them to visit these natural places, there isn't anything being built or renovated.
We arrived back to town and split up, I went to grab some late lunch at Good Life cafe and met a woman from Lithuania outside the cafe. We chatted about green juices, health foods, and travel. She had recently arrived in Pai and at one point I shared with her it was my birthday. She agreed to meet up later to hangout and celebrate. I decided to take off on my motorbike to watch the sunset. I had no destination and an open road to myself. I cruised passed villages, farms, farmers still hard at work. The locals smiled and waved as I drove passed with a giant grin on my face. I stopped for some pictures, took in the breath of the sunset and could barely grasp that I was 25 standing in the middle of Northern Thailand and not a wisp of loneliness was near.
Later I met up with Alina, the woman from Lithuania, I had decided to try some squid and asked her to join at which point she shared with me she was vegan. I loved it, and she was totally supportive of me being adventurous with the squid. We walked and talked and head to a hangout spot I had heard was a lot of fun. The name: Edible Jazz; the vibe: chill, relaxing, and live music/open mic. We ordered fruit smoothies and talked the night away. We had made plans to get bikes in the morning and cycle to a waterfall. I was really beginning to find my place in Pai, and in traveling solo. I can meet new people and build new relationships. This is happening, this was happening. The best present I could give myself is the ability to expand my social skills (besides being in thailand). Well one of the best, I think it is the beginning of many gifts on this journey, I am just so exctatic to have met her! We made our way back to our rooms for the night. And my Thailand birthday came to an end. It was perfect. My heart was happy, my soul was happy. I did find myself telling people it was my birthday but I also found myself forgetting, and not needing to make it all about me.
I turned 25, feeling incredibly alive, all in Thailand. I can dig being a quarter of a century.
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| PomBok Falls, Thailand |
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| Pai Canyon |
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| Pai Sunset |
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| My friend Alina |
Love Always,
Alicia
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Finding peace in Pai
Sunday July 5th- I am playing catch up!
Sawadee!I have been trying not to spend as much time on the Internet and focusing on enjoying my time here in Thailand therefor my blogging has already begun to slack. But I will catch you all up now!
This morning began with meeting my friends from Chiang Mai and venturing on motorbikes to the hot springs. What a way to begin a peaceful day in Pai, Thailand. We soaked in the mineral bath, while having great conversation about life, recovery, and much more. I really enjoy listening to others speak, partially because of their accent but also because the stories of finding recovery all have a similar sound. To hear others struggle from all over the world and see them finding surrender in a foreign country gives me hope. We headed back to town, and mind you the views on the way to and from the hot springs were absolutely stunning. Fields, farms, mountains, villages. I had a huge grin on my face the entire ride. We had breakfast at a "healthy foods" cafe. Also called Good Life, discussed Kombucha, Wheatgrass, the importance of nutrition and more. I felt so at home with these guys (most of you know how obsessed with nutrition I can be). We sat criss cross at a wooden table, and chatted the morning away, no rush, no hurry, just being. After breakfast a few of us enjoyed a massage that was excellent. 200B for 1 hour (9$) and I almost fell asleep. I will definitely be having more of those. I said goodbye to the guys, with the hopes I am able to meet back up with them in Chiang Mai. Some possible opportunities were discussed at one point that I will put out in the atmosphere for the universe to play with :). Something one of the guys shared with me often, that I needed very much so is to remember to stay in the moment. All I have is this moment right now. Its subtle reminders like this that I know creator is with me, I forget to stay in the moment often. And here someone could see that, could hear that and just reminded me all I have is right now. When I stay in the moment I let go of worry, I have faith, I can just be. I ended up renting a cycle after they left and rode around town for a bit, I stopped at a cafe to ask a local if I was crazy for wanting to ride my bike to a waterfall on the map. He said "Yeah you crazy." It was then that I met two girls who happened to be from the Seattle/ Portland area. What are the chances!! They had just arrived in Pai. I sat and had a coconut and some papaya salad while we conversed about our travels. (The salad was amazing!!) We decided to get a taxi to take us to the waterfall and the big white Buddha on the hill. As we rode in the taxi I grew grateful I did not try to ride my bike alone for it was rather far once we got to the outskirts of town. An excellent way to view where the locals live and see the huts and farms. I observed these huts at a lot of farms and asked our driver what they were for. He said Garlic, Pai is famous for their garlic. It is so interesting and humbling to witness the hardworking families and see the farms that fund their daily lives. I mean everything is out of a farm here or hand made. We made it to the water fall that doubled as rock slide. Escaping the heat and finding adventure we hiked the rocks and played on the slide. It was so surreal with the view of the jungle, meeting many others from foreign countries and sliding down waterfalls. After enjoying the sun, the view, the water and the other travelers we headed to the big white Buddha. You can see this temple from all over Pai up on the hillside. We hiked many many stairs to get here. Breathtaking. This Buddha is giant. Peaceful. Overlooking the town. We could see the rain beginning all around us. The clouds melting over the town eventually making its way to where we stood. It poured. Hard, loud, and alot. We danced at the Buddha in the rain, it was like my soul was being cleansed in that moment. A shower from the universe in a sacred place. There was no escaping, we had no choice but to embrace the rain. I was dancing, and spinning, and sliding about, taking in every moment, breathing, laughing, with arms wide open. My heart was happy, my soul, my mind, my body. That was an experience I will never forget. Especially on the way down. We realized the rain was not going anywhere so we decided to head down the steps. It was then that I ate it hard. The steps became very slippery, and once you slip there is absolutely nothing to grip on to to stop the sliding. Like slipping on ice, down two sets of stairs. Phone, camera, purse and all went flying. OUCH! It hurt pretty damn bad, took my breathe away. I am not sure the significance in eating shit in front of a giant Buddha, I assume some bad karma along the way was just released and I am okay with that. Once I stopped sliding down steps and sat up, I laughed. I couldnt help but laugh my ass off, I cant imagine what that looked like to the girls but I know all hurting aside it must have looked rather hilarious. What else could I do cry? That wouldnt solve it, all it really did was hurt and amuse anyone who got the opportunity to watch! haha.
By the time we got back to town we were drenched, I got my bike I had rented and began riding aimlesly around the town, I was having a ball. I had a giant smile on my face and the rain was pouring hard and I was soaked and loving every minute of it. It was warm, reminded me of home, and I was free to play in the rain. One of my most favorite things to do. If my grandma Sharon read this she would vouch! People were watching me ride and im sure thinking I was nuts as they all attempted to escape the torrential downpour. But I didnt care, I picked up some coconut veggie soup and headed back to my room eventually. I was in love with Pai.
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| View from the Wat Praeng waterfalls |
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| Big White Buddha |
It is July 7th here for those of you that read this today, I am getting ready to meet a friend I made from Lithuania to take a 12k bike ride to another waterfall! I will blog about my birthday here in Thailand tonight hopefully!
Kap un Kah.
Love,
Alicia
Sunday, July 5, 2015
A taste of Pai
Sawadee! (Hello)
It is the morning of July 5th, the air is humid, the birds are singing away, firework residue and beer cans do not clutter the street. But thats not to say Pai didn't celebrate independence day. I watched a set of fireworks light up the sky just before heading to bed last night. And walked the street amongst different bars celebrating America which was odd. But homey none the less.
My adventure to Pai was well quite the adventure. I road a bus that took approxmately 3 hours to get up here, with 700 curves I am informed of. Easily believing that, we twisted and turned and climbed elevation the entire trip. Probably the sketchiest bus ride ever. Besides a greyhound I took to Spokane, that was pretty sketch too... Anyways I arrived in Pai about 4pm. Along the route you see a lot of locals living in the most amazing structures and markets that populate the street every few kilometers. We stopped for a break and I had my first experience with a Thai public restroom. First off; you pay a donation to use any public restroom here about 3B. Second, if you want TP you have to purchase that as well ( I learned the hard way) Thank goodness for mom giving me sanitary wipes for my purse. 3rd; there is no toilet seat, and you do not put the toilet paper in the toilet. There is no flushing, and from what I gathered, you stand on the edge of what appears to be a toilet and squat. Reminds me of the things I take for grandted back home.
As we climbed the hills to Pai I began to observe the culture I was about to be engulfed in. Hippy town to say the least. You can see a difference in a thai person from Northern Thailand versus a thai in Chiang Mai. Darker skin, less accumilated to city life. I was picked up on a motor bike with a side cart for my bags and brought to Pairadise (my guest house). Bungalows surround a swimming pond, with private verandas and hammocks. Ahhh serenity. I dropped my stuff in my gorgeous room and laid in my Hammock for a bit. Decided to venture into town and explore. I also knew some people that were here that I had met at the meeting Friday night.
The receptionist showed me a shortcut to town walking down a dirt path and over a bamboo bridge that crossed the river and took me straight into town! I took lots of pictures. I walked the streets resisting the urge to buy things, talking with vendors and tasting the town of Pai. I am learning how to live here without being a producer or consumer except for necessities. Its difficult when everything is so cheap and foreign and tempting! I tried some raw sushi from a cart, a sesame dough ball, and best of all a freshly juiced veggie drink! I felt right at home. The stands in the markets sell raw meat for the locals (beef, lamb, chicken, roosters, squid, fish) It just sits on tables in the heat while they fan away the flies. Not quite accepting of consuming that yet...This town is small, reminds of Manzanita beach in Oregon. Quant, simple, full of happy hippys. I met up with the guys from the meeting last night for dinner after walking around lost for a couple hours :). There was 8 of them, 2 of which rode their bikes to Pai which is insane. They are all in a recovery house in Chiang Mai on their second phase of treatment. And one is like the house manager. He takes them out on adventures all the time even though they are in treatment, shit he brought them to Pai which is known for their drug scene. How freeing, and open for a treatment center to do that. Back home there is so much ego, and control you dont go out on adventures like this. We had dinner at a place called NA's kitchen I had delicious green curry, it was perfect! I asked about females in the treatment center and they said there is a few, one was sick which is why she didnt come here with them. We walked the town after dinner, sharing stories, talking recovery their ages ranged from young to old. An aussie, a guy from Morocco, one from the UK, and I didnt get the rest of their origins. We stopped at a bar to play pool, and made plans to all meet in the morning for the hot springs!
I headed home, in the dark, in the jungle. That was an intense walk. I forgot what I had walked through to get to town. Only to arrive at the bamboo bridge crossing the river unable to see much in the dark. Once across, the creatures were stirring many unfamiliar noises. Bushes were moving, things were hissing, and whistling, and chirping a plenty. (Sound like night before christmas) haha. SHOOT! I was in the jungle walking, in the dark. All I could think was please dont get bitten. I made it home, safe and sound, no bites, I was totally fine.
Some things I am learning about traveling solo:
-I make new friends easily when I allow myself to get uncomfortable.
-I really am struggling to just be, I feel like once I get to a new town or meet new people I have to do everything. I feel I am in Thailand I dont want to miss a thing.
-I am already future tripping in my head
-I feel more connected with my creator than I ever have
-I allow faith to guide me and am beginning to trust the process
-I spend to much time on social media to comfort my ego...
PS. I met a girl from Australia who lives in Pai now, I asked her how she got here to live. She shared that her and some friends came up here after a full moon party, her friends went home, and she stayed here. I was so inspired.
Mom and Dad: I have not run into drugs here yet, nor do I expect to I just have to be weary of cafes that sell magic mushroom pancakes..lol You can tell they are in the atmosphere but you have to be seeking it. So dont worry :)
Jer Gun! (See you later)
Kop Khun (Thank you) I think I was saying it wrong...
Love,
Alicia
The Bamboo Bridge
The Pai River
Walking across the bamboo bridge at night the moon guiding my path <3
It is the morning of July 5th, the air is humid, the birds are singing away, firework residue and beer cans do not clutter the street. But thats not to say Pai didn't celebrate independence day. I watched a set of fireworks light up the sky just before heading to bed last night. And walked the street amongst different bars celebrating America which was odd. But homey none the less.
My adventure to Pai was well quite the adventure. I road a bus that took approxmately 3 hours to get up here, with 700 curves I am informed of. Easily believing that, we twisted and turned and climbed elevation the entire trip. Probably the sketchiest bus ride ever. Besides a greyhound I took to Spokane, that was pretty sketch too... Anyways I arrived in Pai about 4pm. Along the route you see a lot of locals living in the most amazing structures and markets that populate the street every few kilometers. We stopped for a break and I had my first experience with a Thai public restroom. First off; you pay a donation to use any public restroom here about 3B. Second, if you want TP you have to purchase that as well ( I learned the hard way) Thank goodness for mom giving me sanitary wipes for my purse. 3rd; there is no toilet seat, and you do not put the toilet paper in the toilet. There is no flushing, and from what I gathered, you stand on the edge of what appears to be a toilet and squat. Reminds me of the things I take for grandted back home.
As we climbed the hills to Pai I began to observe the culture I was about to be engulfed in. Hippy town to say the least. You can see a difference in a thai person from Northern Thailand versus a thai in Chiang Mai. Darker skin, less accumilated to city life. I was picked up on a motor bike with a side cart for my bags and brought to Pairadise (my guest house). Bungalows surround a swimming pond, with private verandas and hammocks. Ahhh serenity. I dropped my stuff in my gorgeous room and laid in my Hammock for a bit. Decided to venture into town and explore. I also knew some people that were here that I had met at the meeting Friday night.
The receptionist showed me a shortcut to town walking down a dirt path and over a bamboo bridge that crossed the river and took me straight into town! I took lots of pictures. I walked the streets resisting the urge to buy things, talking with vendors and tasting the town of Pai. I am learning how to live here without being a producer or consumer except for necessities. Its difficult when everything is so cheap and foreign and tempting! I tried some raw sushi from a cart, a sesame dough ball, and best of all a freshly juiced veggie drink! I felt right at home. The stands in the markets sell raw meat for the locals (beef, lamb, chicken, roosters, squid, fish) It just sits on tables in the heat while they fan away the flies. Not quite accepting of consuming that yet...This town is small, reminds of Manzanita beach in Oregon. Quant, simple, full of happy hippys. I met up with the guys from the meeting last night for dinner after walking around lost for a couple hours :). There was 8 of them, 2 of which rode their bikes to Pai which is insane. They are all in a recovery house in Chiang Mai on their second phase of treatment. And one is like the house manager. He takes them out on adventures all the time even though they are in treatment, shit he brought them to Pai which is known for their drug scene. How freeing, and open for a treatment center to do that. Back home there is so much ego, and control you dont go out on adventures like this. We had dinner at a place called NA's kitchen I had delicious green curry, it was perfect! I asked about females in the treatment center and they said there is a few, one was sick which is why she didnt come here with them. We walked the town after dinner, sharing stories, talking recovery their ages ranged from young to old. An aussie, a guy from Morocco, one from the UK, and I didnt get the rest of their origins. We stopped at a bar to play pool, and made plans to all meet in the morning for the hot springs!
I headed home, in the dark, in the jungle. That was an intense walk. I forgot what I had walked through to get to town. Only to arrive at the bamboo bridge crossing the river unable to see much in the dark. Once across, the creatures were stirring many unfamiliar noises. Bushes were moving, things were hissing, and whistling, and chirping a plenty. (Sound like night before christmas) haha. SHOOT! I was in the jungle walking, in the dark. All I could think was please dont get bitten. I made it home, safe and sound, no bites, I was totally fine.
Some things I am learning about traveling solo:
-I make new friends easily when I allow myself to get uncomfortable.
-I really am struggling to just be, I feel like once I get to a new town or meet new people I have to do everything. I feel I am in Thailand I dont want to miss a thing.
-I am already future tripping in my head
-I feel more connected with my creator than I ever have
-I allow faith to guide me and am beginning to trust the process
-I spend to much time on social media to comfort my ego...
PS. I met a girl from Australia who lives in Pai now, I asked her how she got here to live. She shared that her and some friends came up here after a full moon party, her friends went home, and she stayed here. I was so inspired.
Mom and Dad: I have not run into drugs here yet, nor do I expect to I just have to be weary of cafes that sell magic mushroom pancakes..lol You can tell they are in the atmosphere but you have to be seeking it. So dont worry :)
Jer Gun! (See you later)
Kop Khun (Thank you) I think I was saying it wrong...
Love,
Alicia
The Bamboo Bridge
The Pai River
Walking across the bamboo bridge at night the moon guiding my path <3Saturday, July 4, 2015
Happy Independence Day America!
A-roon-sa-was (Goodmorning)
I am finding it easier to blog in the mornings as I get home at night and I am wiped out! I walked a total of 8.5 miles yesterday while venturing out in the city. The girls and I met for breakfast and coffee- the guest house serves what they call "Western Breakfast" Eggs, very square toast, and fruit. I have been waking up around 5 each morning and walking up and down the streets watching everyone arise and begin to open their stands and shops. Many monks are out and about around this time and I snap photos when I can. I get free coffee at my guest house (thank goodness!) but they dont serve it until 730. So I wait. We had breakfast and determined what we wanted to do for the day, Stella is great, you tell her what you want and she makes it happen! We took a bus/truck cab (not sure the specific name) up to Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, a Theravada wat in Chiang Mai Province. It is known as the highest point in Chiang Mai. It was beautiful, once you walk in to the temple grounds the color gold encompasses everything you see. Very warm, and welcoming feeling. The pictures do not do justice.The girls and I had the opportunity to be blessed by a monk. I also did a few different type of ceremonies I was witnessing, asking the meaning behind each one. The answers were luck, good fortune, love, remembrance and gratitude. I found interesting. I walked around the temple 3 times to the right chanting a prayer that is too long to remember and in a language I was unsure of. I have so much curiosity around Buddhism. I lit a candle and kneeled in prayer, stuck a coin to a sticky wall, poured oil over a burning flame, and embraced this new found culture I was participating in. Mesmerizing. Out side of the temple it overlooks all of Chiang Mai, it was breathtaking. They have a market that surrounds the grounds and the girls and I tried Coconut milk Pancakes that were delicious. The woman had a large pan with small dips in it similar to a pan you poach eggs in, it was over a heated stone. She sprinkled them with coconut sugar and served them HOT! We got back to out taxi and headed to the Wat Umong Temple. The oldest temple in Chiang Mai which was built in 1297. This was very different from the first temple, very little tourism. We walked through caves that still get utilized today for prayer and observed the very different atmosphere this temple had compared to Doi Suthep. It is beautiful how these temples are still utilized for practice today, they hold meditation retreats and young boys attend school for Buddhism. Monks are blessing anyone who is open and seem to have this peace within them that shines out. Smiling, praying, loving one and all. I only wish I could read more of the signs as they are not in English so its difficult to fully understand the significance of each practice. I hope to learn more the more time I spend here.
About 2pm we got back to our guest house, the girls were getting ready for a cooking class and had invited me but I had plans for a solo adventure, to get to a meeting in Chiang Mai! As appealing as a cooking class sounded, and sticking with the girls so I was not alone, I knew in my heart I needed and wanted a meeting!! I was so excited to embark on this adventure. (I bet I will say that along in my blogs, embark,adventure, journey..) haha anyways. I grabbed a fresh fruit smoothie while the beautiful rain began to fall! It felt so good from the heat all day, I was laughing and smiley while standing in it watching everyone run under awnings. I went and relaxed in my room for a bit trying to figure out how to get pictures from my camera to my tablet which I still have not figured out :( relaxed and cooled off. Showered, and decided to start walking. I knew where I needed to go, it wasnt too far, near the night market we had been at last night. I am so amused by the people and the way of life here. Very very hard workers all along the streets. I walked passed a few schools where kids were playing, and getting let out of school with anxious parents standing across the street to pick them up. Different from home, but not much. Instead of a bunch of cars waiting in a parking lot parents lined the streets with smiles, or waited near a motor bike. Kids got their afternoon snack across the street at a food stand. Rain came again and I jumped into a cafe, ordered a plate of pad thai and watched the rain fall. Once done I grabbed a tuk tuk and lost my vape along the way. I didn't panic, I didn't freak, once I realized it was gone and there was nothing I could do I laughed and said "atleast I am headed to a meeting!" I found the meeting and my people. I was home. It felt beautiful. I was not treated different or special, just another addict seeking a meeting of recovery and that was fucking beautiful. (sorry for the fbomb) Passion overflowed me sitting in that meeting full of recovering addicts. Gratitude, disbelief that NA really is everywhere! I got some phone numbers, got connected with some people that are headed to Pai today which is also where I am headed. Also got a phone number to contact and set up speaking in the local treatment center on a Sunday night. They have treatment in Thailand!?! So excited to learn more about this. A man named Jay, from Vancouver BC shared his story with me that he got clean in AA in Seattle before NA was around. Who would have thought! Told me about the Freemont Hall and the 35 meetings that were there back in the day. We talked about lots while he walked me back to night market. I found live music and another fruit smoothie ;) Just wandering, observing making small talk with other travelers. I met a couple from Germany, Sandra and Lucas, we chatted for a bit about their travels. I found myself very lost and further from the night market. Unafraid, wandering, staying aware, and exploring. Totally lost and totally okay with it. Stopped and asked a tuk tuk driver if I was close to my guest house and he laughed and showed me on my map where I was, I said 60B to home?! he said 80, I said I will walk thanks! He said okay okay 60. :) Ka pun ka.
Its the morning of the 4th here, I doubt I will hear or see any fireworks, which is different. I love seeing the celebrations begin on Facebook. I will head up to Pai today and celebrate Independence in a different way, independently ;)
Love,
Alicia
I am finding it easier to blog in the mornings as I get home at night and I am wiped out! I walked a total of 8.5 miles yesterday while venturing out in the city. The girls and I met for breakfast and coffee- the guest house serves what they call "Western Breakfast" Eggs, very square toast, and fruit. I have been waking up around 5 each morning and walking up and down the streets watching everyone arise and begin to open their stands and shops. Many monks are out and about around this time and I snap photos when I can. I get free coffee at my guest house (thank goodness!) but they dont serve it until 730. So I wait. We had breakfast and determined what we wanted to do for the day, Stella is great, you tell her what you want and she makes it happen! We took a bus/truck cab (not sure the specific name) up to Wat Phra That Doi Suthep, a Theravada wat in Chiang Mai Province. It is known as the highest point in Chiang Mai. It was beautiful, once you walk in to the temple grounds the color gold encompasses everything you see. Very warm, and welcoming feeling. The pictures do not do justice.The girls and I had the opportunity to be blessed by a monk. I also did a few different type of ceremonies I was witnessing, asking the meaning behind each one. The answers were luck, good fortune, love, remembrance and gratitude. I found interesting. I walked around the temple 3 times to the right chanting a prayer that is too long to remember and in a language I was unsure of. I have so much curiosity around Buddhism. I lit a candle and kneeled in prayer, stuck a coin to a sticky wall, poured oil over a burning flame, and embraced this new found culture I was participating in. Mesmerizing. Out side of the temple it overlooks all of Chiang Mai, it was breathtaking. They have a market that surrounds the grounds and the girls and I tried Coconut milk Pancakes that were delicious. The woman had a large pan with small dips in it similar to a pan you poach eggs in, it was over a heated stone. She sprinkled them with coconut sugar and served them HOT! We got back to out taxi and headed to the Wat Umong Temple. The oldest temple in Chiang Mai which was built in 1297. This was very different from the first temple, very little tourism. We walked through caves that still get utilized today for prayer and observed the very different atmosphere this temple had compared to Doi Suthep. It is beautiful how these temples are still utilized for practice today, they hold meditation retreats and young boys attend school for Buddhism. Monks are blessing anyone who is open and seem to have this peace within them that shines out. Smiling, praying, loving one and all. I only wish I could read more of the signs as they are not in English so its difficult to fully understand the significance of each practice. I hope to learn more the more time I spend here.
About 2pm we got back to our guest house, the girls were getting ready for a cooking class and had invited me but I had plans for a solo adventure, to get to a meeting in Chiang Mai! As appealing as a cooking class sounded, and sticking with the girls so I was not alone, I knew in my heart I needed and wanted a meeting!! I was so excited to embark on this adventure. (I bet I will say that along in my blogs, embark,adventure, journey..) haha anyways. I grabbed a fresh fruit smoothie while the beautiful rain began to fall! It felt so good from the heat all day, I was laughing and smiley while standing in it watching everyone run under awnings. I went and relaxed in my room for a bit trying to figure out how to get pictures from my camera to my tablet which I still have not figured out :( relaxed and cooled off. Showered, and decided to start walking. I knew where I needed to go, it wasnt too far, near the night market we had been at last night. I am so amused by the people and the way of life here. Very very hard workers all along the streets. I walked passed a few schools where kids were playing, and getting let out of school with anxious parents standing across the street to pick them up. Different from home, but not much. Instead of a bunch of cars waiting in a parking lot parents lined the streets with smiles, or waited near a motor bike. Kids got their afternoon snack across the street at a food stand. Rain came again and I jumped into a cafe, ordered a plate of pad thai and watched the rain fall. Once done I grabbed a tuk tuk and lost my vape along the way. I didn't panic, I didn't freak, once I realized it was gone and there was nothing I could do I laughed and said "atleast I am headed to a meeting!" I found the meeting and my people. I was home. It felt beautiful. I was not treated different or special, just another addict seeking a meeting of recovery and that was fucking beautiful. (sorry for the fbomb) Passion overflowed me sitting in that meeting full of recovering addicts. Gratitude, disbelief that NA really is everywhere! I got some phone numbers, got connected with some people that are headed to Pai today which is also where I am headed. Also got a phone number to contact and set up speaking in the local treatment center on a Sunday night. They have treatment in Thailand!?! So excited to learn more about this. A man named Jay, from Vancouver BC shared his story with me that he got clean in AA in Seattle before NA was around. Who would have thought! Told me about the Freemont Hall and the 35 meetings that were there back in the day. We talked about lots while he walked me back to night market. I found live music and another fruit smoothie ;) Just wandering, observing making small talk with other travelers. I met a couple from Germany, Sandra and Lucas, we chatted for a bit about their travels. I found myself very lost and further from the night market. Unafraid, wandering, staying aware, and exploring. Totally lost and totally okay with it. Stopped and asked a tuk tuk driver if I was close to my guest house and he laughed and showed me on my map where I was, I said 60B to home?! he said 80, I said I will walk thanks! He said okay okay 60. :) Ka pun ka.
Its the morning of the 4th here, I doubt I will hear or see any fireworks, which is different. I love seeing the celebrations begin on Facebook. I will head up to Pai today and celebrate Independence in a different way, independently ;)
Love,
Alicia
Friday, July 3, 2015
My first days adventure
Goodmorning from SEA (South East Asia)
Woah, thats still so intense for me to say. I am totally new to this blogging thing but I wanted to get one up and running and can fumble around with making it pretty later.
First off, thanks for taking the time to read this, I will tell you now this first one may be pretty lengthy.
As I sit in lotus position in my newly purchased Thai pants with elephants decorating them, I take a deep breath and am in awe that this dream is a reality today. I am in Chiang Mai, Thailand embarking on the adventure of a life time. I have goosebumps just typing that.
I spent the last day and a half flying from Seattle, WA to Chiang Mai. A 12 hour flight to Taipei where I ate something, that tasted mostly good, and had a great conversation with an older gentlemen traveling to Bangkok to meet up with his wife and children on vacation. We chatted about Thailand, this was his 14th trip, his wife is Thai and he showed me pictures of their adorable 2 children. He had some good tips and places to go though seemed rather touristy if you ask me ;). My gate in Taipei was hello kitty themed (ill figure out how to add pics later) and the experience of the airport was well my first international airport where not much english was spoke. Moving forward, I flew another 4 hours to Bangkok. And wow, that initial shock of airport was well overwhelming. I got through immigration with a breeze (having the dreaded proof of onward travel) picked up my Backpack and walked through customs without being stopped...that was odd too. I laughed and said to the guy next to me "easiest thing ive done so far" we laughed. And then I was emerged into chaos.
Bangkok's airport is very simple and full of exchange booths and cell phone stands for all the incoming travelers alike. I tried to exchange Cash at one stand that did not speak a bit of english and found myself extremely frustrated and almost in tears trying to smile and re-explain my intentions. This got me no where but more frustration so I moved along and found another booth out of all the chaos and simply asked "English?" They smiled and said no, I said "exchange US $ for Baht" They said Oh yes! and we were off, they were super smiley and helpful even though neither of us understood a thing. They counted my Baht, then had me count and exchanged my money at the rate of 31.9 Baht to 1US$. Lovely :) Next up, a coffee, first experience using Baht, paid 150B for an iced mocha of somesort with 3 shots (they use instant coffee for everything so I am really not sure how much caffeine I got) and she topped it with Whipped cream (not my preference). I stood there with my giant backpack, and an iced coffee amidst all the travelers in this airport looking incredibly American, with a giant smile on my face. Next up Cell phone Sim card. Super easy!! paid 1000B for 30 days of service. (whatever is included im not sure) I just know the sweet young man at the counter gave me a discount for being "beautiful" which was incredibly flattering after 20 hours of travel. And he loved Harry Potter. He set my phone up and that was that, I had service and was ready to find my gate for Chiang Mai.
(WOW this is long, again sorry!)
I flew Thai Smile to Chiang Mai which was a great flight. Caught my Taxi for 160B (5$) to my Guest house. The driver was great, showing me around, spoke some english, and best of all did not scam me nor try to talk me to a different hotel like you read about. Although I wasnt sure if I was going to live through that ride due to the insane driving and lack of traffic laws. Plus it was rushour. Anyways, I arrived at the Green Tulip Guesthouse which has an open but covered loby area for guest to hangout in opening right to the street. Checked in, and got in to my room turned on the AC and sat down and then feelings began.
Lets talk about feelings: woah, I was not expecting so much anxiety and fear to overwhelm me the minute I was safe in my room, All the noise from traffic sounded intimidating and well scary. My head was flooded with "Its so dangerous" "Your going alone" "Dont get robbed" "Be careful!" and I froze. I felt like if I left my room, my room would get robbed, my purse would get stolen off me, and someone would snatch me up from the street. I took some deep inhales, sent some messages to mom and dad and jumped on social media. There I found inspiration to continue to move forward, feel my feelings and just be okay in the moment. I was not going to die, whether I left my room or not. I am apart of a private fb called Travellets with other solo female travelers and asked them for advice on the initial fear of leaving the room, and they have bombared me with suggestions and tips and many of which that have been to Chiang Mai. The relief began to set it. I showered and changed, opened my very packed backpack and began to feel clean and refreshed. I ventured to the roof top view and vaped. Took some deep breathes and really began to grasp that I was in THAILAND! (more goosebumps) I did it! I quite my job, took a break from school, I planned (a tiny bit) saved as much as I could, and boarded my flight for a ONEWAY trip to Thailand. I was here, this was it, I was doing it. One day at a time, one moment at a time. I am okay. I am alive. I am free. I am grateful. I am excited. I went to get some water, came back up to the roof and met 3 wonderful young ladies and the conversations began!
We chatted, and introduced each other sharing stories. We decided to go find food and began to walk the very safe feeling streets of Chiang Mai (although looking at them you wouldnt think so but the feeling of security is very much there). We stumbled along a rooftop restraunt where people were dangling there bare feets and got flagged down to come check the menu. So we slipped off our shoes and journeyed up the stairs to fimd the most adorable sitting area outside under the full moon light. We ordered veggies, some curry soup and I had my first authentic fried squid. YUM! We had great conversation and they gave lots of tips from their experience so far, very confident beautiful young women, getting ready to start med school and taking an adventure first. We split the bill at 100B each (3$) and moved on. From their we walked about 2m (maybe longer) to the night market. They taught me how to Barter and I purchased a multi-tool/knife for 300B. It was the womans first sale of the night; You know its the first sale when they touch their goods with your money (for good fortune). It is also the best time to get the lowest prices ( as soon as they open the want to sell something for good fortune) It is humorus to ask how much? they give you a price and if you move on they say "how much for you!" "what price for you!?" I also purchased some fancy Thai pants that are super comfortable! 170B. We walked the streets, I observed the different smells, many unpleasant. The women that sit outside all of the bars waiting for well you know, we came across a muay thai boxing ring that holds fights every night at 10. I think we may head back tonight. Everyone is smiling, and happy, and very helpful. We caught a Tuk Tuk back to our hotel for 20B each (.80cents). I made my way to my room and relaxed. I fell asleep with the feeling of freedom. I can do this, I am doing this. Finding my bliss.
PS. I will try to update each morning or night so my blogs arent so long. and figure out the photo thing, I am getting ready to meet the girls for breakfast and to begin a day of Temple seeing!
Ka Pun Ka (Thank you) for taking the time to read.
-Alicia
Woah, thats still so intense for me to say. I am totally new to this blogging thing but I wanted to get one up and running and can fumble around with making it pretty later.
First off, thanks for taking the time to read this, I will tell you now this first one may be pretty lengthy.
As I sit in lotus position in my newly purchased Thai pants with elephants decorating them, I take a deep breath and am in awe that this dream is a reality today. I am in Chiang Mai, Thailand embarking on the adventure of a life time. I have goosebumps just typing that.
I spent the last day and a half flying from Seattle, WA to Chiang Mai. A 12 hour flight to Taipei where I ate something, that tasted mostly good, and had a great conversation with an older gentlemen traveling to Bangkok to meet up with his wife and children on vacation. We chatted about Thailand, this was his 14th trip, his wife is Thai and he showed me pictures of their adorable 2 children. He had some good tips and places to go though seemed rather touristy if you ask me ;). My gate in Taipei was hello kitty themed (ill figure out how to add pics later) and the experience of the airport was well my first international airport where not much english was spoke. Moving forward, I flew another 4 hours to Bangkok. And wow, that initial shock of airport was well overwhelming. I got through immigration with a breeze (having the dreaded proof of onward travel) picked up my Backpack and walked through customs without being stopped...that was odd too. I laughed and said to the guy next to me "easiest thing ive done so far" we laughed. And then I was emerged into chaos.
Bangkok's airport is very simple and full of exchange booths and cell phone stands for all the incoming travelers alike. I tried to exchange Cash at one stand that did not speak a bit of english and found myself extremely frustrated and almost in tears trying to smile and re-explain my intentions. This got me no where but more frustration so I moved along and found another booth out of all the chaos and simply asked "English?" They smiled and said no, I said "exchange US $ for Baht" They said Oh yes! and we were off, they were super smiley and helpful even though neither of us understood a thing. They counted my Baht, then had me count and exchanged my money at the rate of 31.9 Baht to 1US$. Lovely :) Next up, a coffee, first experience using Baht, paid 150B for an iced mocha of somesort with 3 shots (they use instant coffee for everything so I am really not sure how much caffeine I got) and she topped it with Whipped cream (not my preference). I stood there with my giant backpack, and an iced coffee amidst all the travelers in this airport looking incredibly American, with a giant smile on my face. Next up Cell phone Sim card. Super easy!! paid 1000B for 30 days of service. (whatever is included im not sure) I just know the sweet young man at the counter gave me a discount for being "beautiful" which was incredibly flattering after 20 hours of travel. And he loved Harry Potter. He set my phone up and that was that, I had service and was ready to find my gate for Chiang Mai.
(WOW this is long, again sorry!)
I flew Thai Smile to Chiang Mai which was a great flight. Caught my Taxi for 160B (5$) to my Guest house. The driver was great, showing me around, spoke some english, and best of all did not scam me nor try to talk me to a different hotel like you read about. Although I wasnt sure if I was going to live through that ride due to the insane driving and lack of traffic laws. Plus it was rushour. Anyways, I arrived at the Green Tulip Guesthouse which has an open but covered loby area for guest to hangout in opening right to the street. Checked in, and got in to my room turned on the AC and sat down and then feelings began.
Lets talk about feelings: woah, I was not expecting so much anxiety and fear to overwhelm me the minute I was safe in my room, All the noise from traffic sounded intimidating and well scary. My head was flooded with "Its so dangerous" "Your going alone" "Dont get robbed" "Be careful!" and I froze. I felt like if I left my room, my room would get robbed, my purse would get stolen off me, and someone would snatch me up from the street. I took some deep inhales, sent some messages to mom and dad and jumped on social media. There I found inspiration to continue to move forward, feel my feelings and just be okay in the moment. I was not going to die, whether I left my room or not. I am apart of a private fb called Travellets with other solo female travelers and asked them for advice on the initial fear of leaving the room, and they have bombared me with suggestions and tips and many of which that have been to Chiang Mai. The relief began to set it. I showered and changed, opened my very packed backpack and began to feel clean and refreshed. I ventured to the roof top view and vaped. Took some deep breathes and really began to grasp that I was in THAILAND! (more goosebumps) I did it! I quite my job, took a break from school, I planned (a tiny bit) saved as much as I could, and boarded my flight for a ONEWAY trip to Thailand. I was here, this was it, I was doing it. One day at a time, one moment at a time. I am okay. I am alive. I am free. I am grateful. I am excited. I went to get some water, came back up to the roof and met 3 wonderful young ladies and the conversations began!
We chatted, and introduced each other sharing stories. We decided to go find food and began to walk the very safe feeling streets of Chiang Mai (although looking at them you wouldnt think so but the feeling of security is very much there). We stumbled along a rooftop restraunt where people were dangling there bare feets and got flagged down to come check the menu. So we slipped off our shoes and journeyed up the stairs to fimd the most adorable sitting area outside under the full moon light. We ordered veggies, some curry soup and I had my first authentic fried squid. YUM! We had great conversation and they gave lots of tips from their experience so far, very confident beautiful young women, getting ready to start med school and taking an adventure first. We split the bill at 100B each (3$) and moved on. From their we walked about 2m (maybe longer) to the night market. They taught me how to Barter and I purchased a multi-tool/knife for 300B. It was the womans first sale of the night; You know its the first sale when they touch their goods with your money (for good fortune). It is also the best time to get the lowest prices ( as soon as they open the want to sell something for good fortune) It is humorus to ask how much? they give you a price and if you move on they say "how much for you!" "what price for you!?" I also purchased some fancy Thai pants that are super comfortable! 170B. We walked the streets, I observed the different smells, many unpleasant. The women that sit outside all of the bars waiting for well you know, we came across a muay thai boxing ring that holds fights every night at 10. I think we may head back tonight. Everyone is smiling, and happy, and very helpful. We caught a Tuk Tuk back to our hotel for 20B each (.80cents). I made my way to my room and relaxed. I fell asleep with the feeling of freedom. I can do this, I am doing this. Finding my bliss.
PS. I will try to update each morning or night so my blogs arent so long. and figure out the photo thing, I am getting ready to meet the girls for breakfast and to begin a day of Temple seeing!
Ka Pun Ka (Thank you) for taking the time to read.
-Alicia
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